Wardrobe Wars

My husband and I go round-and-round regarding our family's wardrobe.  I think we should each have more than 5 shirts in the closet and he thinks more than that is extravagant.  He thinks that since we were only born with 2 feet, having more than 1 pair of shoes is a waste of money.  He doesn't understand that women (and girls) need more than just a pair of sneakers.  And the mere mention of needing a new purse is like stabbing him in the heart.

 

There are many things my husband prides himself on being, but a clothes-horse is not one of them.  If you were to look in our closet, you'd see he has 10 shirts.  Of those 10 shirts, he only wears 5 of them regularly.  The 5 he wears are short-sleeved golf shirts and he wears them year-round.  The other 5 are long sleeved shirts in case the universe experiences another ice age.

He considers my side of the closet to be overburdened by clothing and believes that if I donated half of it, I could clothe the entire continent of Africa.  He just doesn't understand the female wardrobe.  Women's clothes aren't as versatile as men's.  We can't wear a golf shirt to dinner, drinks with the girls, or to an afternoon tea, like men can.

He has no understanding women need clothes for work, play, church, nights out on the town, and formal occasions, nor does he understand the different levels of each one of those clothing categories.  Women have formal business attire for meeting with clients, as well as everyday casual work attire.  Then you have to throw the "Fun Friday" attire into the mix. 

His reasoning was flawed when he surmised that I could get rid of 2 of the 3 pairs of pants which were the exact same design.  As a woman, I also have multiple different sizes of clothes.  Yes, I have my fat, skinny, and just-right clothes.  How much chocolate I've eaten, whether or not I've exercised, and whether the moon is waxing or waning, are all factors which will determine the size clothing I am wearing on any given day.

My husband has 1 pair of shoes which he wears with most everything.  A good old pair of sneakers.  He cannot understand why a woman needs so many different styles of shoes.  He thinks a pair of Sketchers should go with a designer dress, formal attire, and all of my casual outfits.  I've had to purchase fashion magazines to show him that women really do have different shoes for each outfit.

But, one thing he learned a long time ago which is not up for discussion:  my purses.  He made the mistake of asking why I needed 25 different styles of purses.  He even suggested that I pair the collection down to just one purse.  That's when he learned that nothing will get his 10 shirts and 1 pair of sneakers kicked out of our house faster than suggesting I downsize my purse assortment.

I had to explain to him that while I do not carry my large Louis Vuitton zip top purse every day, if ever there was a major cataclysmic event, I could throw the contents of my entire household into that bag.  We wouldn't have to eat bugs like on the tv show "Survivor" because I'd have canned goods, a can opener, chocolate, bagged donuts, chips, canned meat, and vegetables all snuggled safely within its confines.  I've even been thinking lately of purchasing a generator to keep stored inside the bag.  You never know when you might have a need to heat up a can of beanie-weenies in the Outback.

Now whenever bad weather strikes and we have to go to the inner-most room of our house to take cover, I yell that I have the kids, dog and pillows, and he yells back that he has thrown his body over my purse collection.  Yes, as long as the Louis Vuitton survives, we'll be just fine........

Written by:  Christie Bielss