The Joy of Starting Your Week with a Random Act of Kindness

The world has changed dramatically in the almost ten years since my last blog post - and not necessarily for the better. It's time for us to remind each other of the good in this world. I have been pondering on the good things that have occurred in some really difficult times, and one blessing really stood out 

It was a particularly challenging week after my dad passed away. I was grocery shopping for my and another's household when a folded piece of paper fell from a can of soup I grabbed off the shelf. I unfolded the paper, and inside were the words, "You have a beautiful heart!" My exhaustion and sadness turned to gratitude in a split second. It was a perfectly timed act of kindness that made a world of difference during a time of having to balance multiple spinning plates like a circus performer. One person who spent a couple of minutes thinking about someone else truly changed the trajectory of my day and week. We need more of this. Lots more of this.

As this new week begins, it's easy to fall back into a cycle of stress and anticipation for what lies ahead. But what if you could transform your Monday morning dread into something uplifting? The transformative power of kindness can do just that. By incorporating random acts of kindness into your weekly routine, you can start your week on a hopeful and optimistic note. 

Kindness is the universal language that transcends the many different native tongues in our world. Whether it’s a smile exchanged with a stranger or a thoughtful gesture towards a friend, acts of kindness can brighten someone’s day and create a powerful ripple effect. Research continues to show that kindness improves our mental health and overall well-being, and by spreading kindness, you can empower yourself to make a significant impact on the world around you. 

Starting your week with kindness sets the tone not only for your own mindset but also for those around you. When you give, you receive. You receive a boost through seeing or feeling the joy of helping others.

While there are many ways you can bring joy to others, here are some ideas I found for simple ways to kick off your week with kindness: 

1. **Compliment a Colleague**: A heartfelt compliment can go a long way. Take a moment to appreciate a colleague's hard work or talents. It may brighten their day and strengthen your connection. 

2. **Leave a Note**: Write a positive note and leave it for a stranger to find - just like someone did for me. Something as simple as “You are amazing!”, “Have a great day!” or even "You matter!" can change someone’s day. 

3. **Buy a Coffee for the Person Behind You**: While this has become popular in recent years, it's still greatly appreciated and can inspire others to pay it forward. 

4. **Volunteer Your Time**: Dedicate a few hours to a local charity or community service. Whether helping at a food bank, your local school or library, or even assisting in a park cleanup, your time can have a significant impact.

5. **Check on a Friend**: Reach out to a friend you haven’t spoken to. A card with a heartfelt note or a simple "I'm thinking about you" can change someone's day. Even a simple text or call to see how they’re doing can mean the world to them. 

6. **Share Your Talents**: If you have a talent or hobby you love, consider sharing it with others. Host a workshop at your local library or community college, or volunteer as a mentor. Your passion could inspire or even be transformative for others! 

The joy of initiating a random act of kindness also brings immense pleasure to you as the giver. Kindness releases endorphins, creating an effect referred to as the "helper's high." By starting your week with kindness, you not only set a positive precedent for yourself in the days to come, but you also experience the fulfilling joy of giving, which can bring happiness and contentment. 

As you begin the week ahead, take a moment to think about ways you can look for opportunities. Let’s create a wave of positivity that spreads through our workplaces, relationships, neighborhoods, and beyond. After all, a world filled with kindness is a world we all want to live in. I would love to hear about your experiences with kindness in the comments below. Let's inspire each other!

We Will Never Forget

While visiting with my grandparents one summer, I asked them what it was like living through World War II. Their voices softened and their demeanors changed as they described the events of December 7, 1941, the day not only Pearl Harbor was attacked, but every American was attacked.

All of the pain, worry, and trauma they experienced was carried with them, even though it had been over 30 years since the attack. As they described hearing the voice on the radio announcing Pearl Harbor was under attack, they paused as their voices cracked and their eyes became misty.

As a youth, I wondered how that level of pain could still be so fresh in their hearts 30+ years after the war ended. On September 11, 2001, within a small span of time, I understood all of their emotions. From their fear of not knowing the fate of family and friends, to the immediate overwhelming flood of emotions that assailed my senses upon hearing the television newscaster say "America is under attack".

For the first time, I got it. And it tore a hole in my heart I knew would never heal, no matter how much time passed.

I fully grasped the generations of my parents and grandparents sense of strength, faith, love, unity, and pride in their country, and in themselves. Everyone jumped into action. First Responders made the ultimate sacrifice to save others, and Americans signed up to go to war to protect our freedoms.

We ARE a nation of strength, faith, love, unity, and pride...... and always will be.

16 years later, we remember. We will always remember. 

December 7, 1941 and September 11, 2001 are days which will forever be burned into our hearts and minds. They are two of the most difficult days in American history. They are also two days which brought this country together in full and complete unity like no other. May we never forget those who were lost, and may we always rise up to bring this nation together. God bless America.

  

Written by Christie Bielss

The Legend of PrayerBear

You may be wondering what happened to this crazy redhead the past few months.  This summer my daughter underwent major surgery. It was an extraordinarily stressful time for my husband and I. Leading up to the surgery, my stress levels were so high, I could not think beyond how many days were left until surgery, much less think of writing a single word for the blog.

While we were confident our daughter had the very best surgeon and was in the best hospital to attend to her needs, the doubts and "what ifs" still somehow crept in. In the days leading up to the surgery, I could not fathom how I could possibly handle watching as the hospital staff wheeled my daughter away. I did the only thing I knew to do during this time:  I prayed, and prayed, and prayed. 

My little girl made me make a promise a few days prior to surgery. She made me promise I would not cry in front of her when they wheeled her off to surgery. I agreed, even though I wasn't sure I could keep that promise..... but I was determined to give it all I had. 

As she was wheeled back for surgery, her prayers were answered and I did not shed a tear. For the next nearly 7 hours, I prayed, and chatted with one of our church's ministers. And then I prayed, and walked to the hospital's chapel and prayed some more. As I walked back to my seat in the parents' surgical waiting area, the surgeon walked through the doors beaming from ear to ear. Our baby was on the road to recovery.

One day while she was still in the hospital recuperating, she had a particularly rough morning. The nurse gave her some medication to ease her symptoms, which also had the side benefit of helping her sleep. While she napped, I stepped out into a parent lounging area to update my parents on her condition.

I was on the phone with my parents and watched as hospital volunteers quietly dropped off a teddy bear to her room. They giggled as they came out of her room, thrilled a child would wake up to their surprise gift. I smiled and got a bit choked up at the delight these 2 women took in bringing cheer to sick and injured children.

A short time later my husband arrived with our son, so he could visit with his sister. As we walked in, our daughter was just rousing from her nap. She immediately laid eyes on a lovely creamy white teddy bear which had been placed on the bed tray in front of her.

She squealed with delight over waking up to this adorable stuffed creation and, upon lifting it up, discovered a book had come with the bear. I read aloud the name of the book "The Legend of PrayerBear" by Annie Miller. My daughter said immediately "That's my bear's name. PrayerBear", and then asked me to read the book to her.

I sat down and read this beautiful and touching story of a bear that just wanted someone to love and hug. I was doing a great job of holding my tears inside over this heartwarming tale until I got to the last page.

I barely made it through the first line on the page when all of the tears I had held so tightly inside started escaping the vise-like control I'd kept on them. I stopped reading for a moment and took a deep breath, trying to get hold of myself. 

The story had taken a twist when PrayerBear had been given to a young girl who was in the hospital and was sad because she wasn't well enough to be able to get up and about. This story was hitting so close to home, I was having no success controlling my emotions. When I got to the final 2 paragraphs of the story, the proverbial floodgates opened wide:

          "I thank you for my PrayerBear,
            And for the friend so dear
            Who cared enough to send it
            To remind me God is near.

            Every time I feel afraid
            I'll hug my PrayerBear tight
            For I have friends who care for me,
            And I will be all right."

Christie Bielss

The Brick Wall

To be perfectly honest, I've been in a funk.  That's the best way I know to describe how I've felt the past several months.  One night I went to bed happy and the very next morning I woke up and felt like someone had erected a brick wall around my heart.  The day before I was tootling along just fine taking care of business, and the very next morning when I tried to pray, my brain was everywhere.  I couldn't form a cohesive thought much less a sentence.  Everything from the grocery list, to the to-do list, to home renovations, to......... "SQUIRREL!" was running 90mph through my head and heart.  When I did try to pick up my devotional to read, my insides just said "blech".  When I'd see a spiritual post online, I'd quickly scroll past it as I heard the word "yuck!" inside of my very being.

I figured it was either a phase, I was overly tired, or maybe I just needed a break from it all.  I decided to not do my devotional for a week and to step away from worrying about it.  In that week, the brick wall got stronger and taller.  I knew taking the break was a mistake but I continued on.

The next week rolled around and I promptly squelched every single thought and feeling of needing to study my Bible or participate in any other activity which would stop this backslide I was on.  I chastised myself for being lazy but I figured I'd get back to business in time.  This internal fight continued for weeks before I realized this was more than mere laziness or needing a break.

This brick wall I had allowed to be erected had gained traction and had been fortified with steel and concrete in those weeks.  What started out as a simple low brick wall now had 3 full sides, a ceiling, and a 4th side which was nearly closed.  The height of the walls was seemingly insurmountable and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't scale that wall.

An overwhelming feeling of doom pervaded my thoughts as I realized I had allowed myself to get boxed into a prison cell.  If I didn't actively do something to get off of this path, there would be no escape.  Being a redhead, acceptance of my own stupidity is difficult at best and near impossible at worst.  Even so, there was this overwhelming feeling of needing help which built up inside of me until I could no longer contain it.

I finally made mention of what was going on to a close friend.  Fully expecting to get the reproof of "Well, moron, you opened up the door and let the great loser in...." speech which only a friend can give.  I was quite surprised to hear she was having a similar struggle.  But it also meant she didn't have the strength to help me either since she was battling it herself.

For me, acknowledging a problem has always been the first step to solving it.  Since I owned up to it with my friend, I had made it past this crucial first step, but I honestly had no clue what the second step was in moving past it.  With some more very hard won bravado (remember, I'm a redhead and as such, I don't ask for help), I messaged my cousin (who is a minister) and asked for his advice.

As only a cousin can, he righted my thinking and put me back on the path of life with one simple sentence.  Although he said it with much more eloquence and kindness, in essence he said "just shut up and do it".  So I did......... finally.  Those feelings of "yuck!" and "blech!" were there every step I took through the house to pick up my Bible and devotional book.  I actually had to read and pray out loud in order to squelch all of the "SQUIRREL!" thoughts.

And you know what I discovered?  This wall which appeared so completely insurmountable, which was closing in on me, didn't have to be climbed.  I only needed to do one thing:  reach out my hands and grasp The One that had been there waiting patiently with His arms outstretched all along.  That gigantic reinforced brick, steel, and concrete wall around my heart crumbled to pieces in an instant.

On Friday, I was driving down one of the local highways and was listening to "It Is Well With My Soul".  Ok, so I have to admit that I actually had it cranked up to ear blasting levels because it felt good to have my heart feeling so full and unfettered again.  As the song was hitting its crescendo, I came over a hill and what was before me?  A man dressed in a plain white tunic, wearing a crown of thorns, carrying a cross down the road.............

Written by Christie Bielss

"Necessity is the Mother of Invention"

A couple of weeks ago I was trying to hang pictures on the wall.  No matter which way I grabbed the nail, as soon as the tip of the nail touched the wall, it fell from my grasp.   There is nothing more frustrating than trying to do something and having it fight you every step of the way.  Trying not to mutter unladylike words under my breath, I heaved a big sigh.  "Necessity is the mother of invention"~Plato (or maybe it's Aesop - it's up for debate).  It's a phrase I find grossly annoying but so very true when it comes to dealing with physical limitations brought on Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease.

 

Ok, to be perfectly honest, losing that ability was frustrating as hell. There is just no other way to describe being able to do something one day and then having that ability stripped away the very next day.  So how do I deal with it?  I do what any normal redhead does.  I stomp my feet, I throw a tizzy, I bite my family's heads off if they offer to perform the task for me, I go and beat the stuffing out of a pillow, and then I get back to the task at hand.

Do I feel sorry for myself?  Not generally.  Maybe it's because I vent my frustration "extraordinarily well" (LOL) at the moment something happens, which makes it easier for me to move on.  It's also because my family and friends have always pushed me with the "in a room full of people, I'll take mine" attitude since this disease reared it's ugly head over 20 years ago. 

For me, I think what keeps me pushing foward most of all, is hanging onto Isaiah 40:29-31
"He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
³⁰ Even the youths shall faint and be weary,And the young men shall utterly fall,
³¹ But those who wait on the LordShall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint."

In the grand scheme of things, life on earth is short.  One day I will run again and maybe have races with my kids.  One day I will be able to pick up small objects again.  One day I won't have to worry about my arm twitching and causing my food or drink to spill.  One day I won't be self-conscience about how atrophied my hands look.  One day is a day I look forward to.

Until that day of wholeness arrives, I choose to try not to be frustrated at what I can't do and focus on what I can do.  Until that day arrives, I choose to live life by plastering a smile on my face even though it would be easier to fall into a deep well full of griping, moaning, and crying.  Until that day arrives, I choose to improvise and keep moving forward the best way I know how.

I put that nail in the wall all.by.myself.  After mumbling and grumbling under my breath when I dropped the nail several times, I realized that while my fingers may not be able to hold that nail anymore, my hand can hold a pair of needle-nose pliers, which can hold that nail long enough for me to pound it into the wall.  Within a minute or two, that picture was hung.......... and it never looked better.

Written by Christie Bielss

Shooting Cupid

Are you a man-made, store-created-holiday hater?  Do you despise Valentine's Day and wish you could shoot Cupid in the derriere' with his little bow and "love" arrows?  I know many people who really don't care for this holiday.  While I wouldn't go so far as to say I hate these holidays, they do get me to thinking..... which is almost always dangerous.  The more I have thought about it, the more I think these for-profit store-created holidays could be used to do a lot of good.

What if  we turned the tables on this greeting card industry marketing ploy and took this day to not only show some love to our family and friends, but to neighbors and strangers as well?  What if we all did one thing out of the ordinary for a stranger on this one day?  Would this then still be day to enrich the coffers of industry, or a day to enrich the hearts of people who would cherish and remember that one kind act for a lifetime?

What if we all did something on this day which didn't involve whipping out our credit cards?  What if you scraped the ice off of a stranger's (or even a neighbor's) windshield?  What if you helped out at your child's school?  What if you brought a plate of cookies to share with co-workers or neighbors (FYI:  I like peanut-free chocolate chip)?  What if you made a bouquet out of holly and other evergreens you clip from your own yard and gave it to a stranger?  What if you took some note paper and handed out handcrafted cards to strangers wishing them a happy day?

WHAT IF we all took a moment to do this for someone outside of our inner circle?  What if we made Valentine's Day a for-profit venture of the heart and soul?  What could you do for someone else? Please share some of your ideas of ways to show others some kindness on Valentine's Day and let's see if we can truly spread some love on this day.

Christie Bielss

Who Cares?

I don't care how much money you have.  I don't care how big your house is.  I don't care if your clothes are the most fashionable or aren't.  I don't care what precious gems you own, or what ones you don't.  I don't care what kind of car you drive or if you even own a car.  I don't care what restaurants you dine at or what wine, beer, or liquor you indulge yourself in.  I don't care how much or how little you travel. I don't care where you travel or the method by which you choose to travel.

I don't care who you know or who you don't know.  I don't care if you think you are all that and a box of chocolates.  I don't care what church you attend and whether it's small, medium, or large.  I don't care if you volunteer.  I don't care what job you have.  I don't care what position you hold on the PTA or on your kid's Little League team.  I don't care if you have stocks, bonds, or mutual funds.

I don't care how many book clubs you attend or tea parties you are invited to.  I don't care if you donate your used items to charity, or sell them in a garage sale or on Craigslist.  I don't care if your yard is meticulously landscaped by a renowned landscape architect or if it isn't landscaped and is mowed haphazardly by a teenager.

I don't care if you have the latest technology.  I don't care if your kids have the latest technology or a college savings plan. I don't care what size your television is.  I don't care if you've seen all the latest movies at the movie theater, plays at the performance hall, or symphonies conducted on a lush lawn under the stars.  I don't care what sporting events you attend or the bars you party at.

I don't care if you've had plastic surgery, Botox and collagen injections, or the latest facial.  I don't care if you have weekly mani-pedis.   I don't care if you eat off of china and drink out of crystal and I don't care if you eat off of paper plates and drink out of Solo cups.

I don't care if you own rental or vacation properties.  I don't care if you own your own island, an office building, a farm or a ranch.  I don't care what area of town you live in or the school your children attend.

I.DON'T.CARE. about any of that STUFF.

What I do care about are the words and attitude that come out of your mouth.  I care about the words you write for the world to see and the context in which you write them.  I care about the way you treat people and the courtesy you show others.

I care whether you honor yourself, your family, and others through your actions.  I care whether you choose to put people before things.  I care whether you enjoy lifting people up.  I care whether you have enough respect for yourself and others to acknowledge your faults, mistakes, and shortcomings.  I care whether you truly give with your heart. 

 

I care whether you are more prepared to love than to hate.  I care whether you are sad or happy. I care if you are experiencing pain or hardship. I care whether there is something I can say or do to help you. I care whether there is something you can say or do to help others.

I care whether you are willing to stand up and help those who can't help themselves.  I care whether you are willing to be around people who just need someone to show they care.  I care whether what is on the outside is a direct reflection of what is on the inside. I care about Y.O.U., not your stuff, not your facade, not the empire you've built or the things you have or have not accumulated. 

Maybe, just maybe, if I care about you in this manner, you will care about someone else and show them the same love, honor and respect I show you.  Maybe this ever so simple act of caring will help not only those you have touched personally, but people you don't even know.  Maybe this society which has developed an attitude of "What about me", with a little bit of caring, can be turned around to have an attitude of "What about Y.O.U.".  Maybe.........

Psalm 19:14 "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer."

Christie Bielss

Happy New Year!

It's that time of year again when people follow the time-honored tradition of making resolutions for the New Year.  There seem to only be two sides to the New Year's resolution debate:  to make a resolution, or to resolve not to resolve. 

Last year, after many years of failed resolutions, I chose to make no resolution whatsoever.  With this choice came a great sense of freedom.  Freedom to do what I wanted, if I wanted, without worrying about whether or not I was going to have regrets at the end of the year.

With the new year beginning in a few hours, I have taken a hard look back at the past year.  Instead of having resolutions which urged me to diet and exercise to lose a few pounds, attempts to stay organized, and half-hearted efforts to do daily devotions as I have done in years past, this year I look back and see................... nothing.

Apparently for me, having no resolution makes me quite the overachiever at........... not doing squat.  Yes, I started this blog, but technically that was under duress and more to pacify certain unnamed individuals.  Who knew I'd actually have fun doing it?!  But, it still doesn't count because I didn't actively seek to do it.  I also lost some much needed weight.  But again, that was because I got sick in the summer and not because of a great exercise and diet routine.

So, as we get ready to ring in the New Year, I am not going to make a resolution again this year, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to do something.  To quote Tony Robbins "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten...".  With that in mind, in this New Year I am choosing to work on things within me.

I read about one of my friends who chooses a single word which describes how they are going to handle life in the New Year.  I like that idea and will definitely be incorporating it into my plan.  As a matter of fact, I liked it so much that the single word I will be using hit me instantly.  For 2014 my outlook towards situations will be "Faithful".

With being faithful, I also recognize a couple of things that I want to work on.  Notice I'm not using the word "change"?  With the idea to do things differently means I don't have to be perfect.  I don't have to lose 3 dress sizes, or eat vegetables more than I eat chocolate.  No, what I'm going for this year is recognizing my imperfections, embracing them, and creating workable solutions around them.

I haven't quite figured out how this is going to work out but I can tell you that for me, a life without some form of goal, is a life of complete laziness.  And that is just not how I feel I should be living.  As Thomas Edison said so eloquently "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."  I have given up on things way too many times and it's time to get off that train's tracks.

I have a fire burning inside of me and I'm not quite sure what sparked it or how long it will last, but hang onto your hats because for 2014, I'm letting go and coming unleashed from the ties I've allowed to bind me.  Yes, 2014 will be the year that I am not going to give up.  This may be an interesting ride..........

Christie Bielss

If Only.......

3 years ago we moved back home to Texas and chose to live in an apartment so we'd have time to find the ideal home, in the ideal neighborhood, and in the ideal school district.

The apartment complex we lived in was very nice and we had relatively quiet neighbors.  We knew the apartment was a bit out of the way and away from shopping and family, so we expected some commuting to get to where we needed to go and other inconveniences.  What we didn't expect was a situation which rapidly spiralled out of control on my children's 3rd day in their new school and something which would turn our lives upside down for the next 2+ years.

My son was in 3rd Grade and was a very bright young man.  Not much passes by him without him noticing, unless the tv is on, in which case a freight train could pass next to his head and he wouldn't notice.  By the 2nd day of school, he was marked as a "smart" kid by 2 boys in his class.  These 2 boys were 10 and 11 years old in a class of 3rd Graders, who were 8 years old, and these boys didn't like "smart" kids.

The very next day at school, they "introduced" themselves to my son.  During recess and directly in front of a teacher, the 2 boys came up and punched my son in the head and face with all their might.  The teacher witnessed the attack and shoo'd the boys away from my son but did nothing else.

She did not report the incident to the administration nor did she send my son to the school nurse.  Because she didn't report the incident, I was not notified and his classroom teacher said she was not notified.

I pulled up to the carpool pickup line that day and my children climbed in the car.  When I asked how their day went, my son immediately broke down crying.  I pulled over and calmed him down enough so he could tell me what happened.  From the side of the road, I called my husband.  He had me drive home to the apartment and was in the parking lot waiting for us upon our arrival.

Have you heard the phrase "Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn"?  Well, I think it should read "Hell hath no fury like a Redhead's scorn when you mess with her kid"!  We talked with my son's teacher and the Assistant Principal (the Principal wouldn't meet with us, take our calls, return messages, or even emails).  We were assured they'd get to the bottom of it and discipline would be meted out.

Despite their assurances, incidents like this continued.  We debated whether or not to pull our son from school and homeschool him.  He hated going to school for the first time ever, and yet he loved seeing his friends.  It was such an emotional time for all of us as we were completely unprepared for this level of violence at his age and we truly did not know what to do.  Our son was scared of the boys but he wanted to be at school.  While we wanted to protect him, we also didn't want to do more damage by pulling him out of school and taking him away from his friends.

In an effort to bring him some level of comfort, we bought a special necklace for him.  It's what he wanted and he picked it out.  It was a chain with a cross hanging from it.  He said he wanted to be able to feel Jesus close to his heart when he got scared and to feel His power.  Our son knew we were working hard to help and protect him but he wanted, and needed, a little visual confirmation that Jesus had his back too.

The level of violence escalated 2 months later when the kids were on the playground right before the Christmas break.  The 10 year old bully cornered my son, again in full view of the same teacher, grabbed ahold of my son by the throat and lifted him completely off the ground while trying to choke him to death.  My son described the incident this way: I couldn't breathe, my feet were off the ground and everything started going dark like it was night.  I was seeing stars and flashes of light in my eyes.  I thought I was going to die.  I asked Jesus to help me and that's when all of the sudden I got the power!  I hit him.  I hit him with all my power.  I balled up my fist like Dad taught me and with every ounce of power in my entire body, I hit him in the ribs and stomach.  Mom!  HE LET GO!  He started coughing and crying and then I ran off and stayed far, far away.

Again we received no call or notification from the school and it was only when I picked him up from school that I heard about this violence.  I'd had more than enough and at this point, my anger was well beyond any controllable level.  My husband and I went straight to the school.  The Assistant Principal was assigned the task of meeting with us, since the Principal refused to acknowledge our existence.  I would love to say in an ever so lady-like way that I was angry, but in reality, I was enraged.  I was so livid I could have spit nails and framed an entire building without benefit of a nailgun or air compressor.  I was so angry that my husband decided that he'd just sit back and watch the fireworks light up that school from a redheaded mother bear fighting to protect her cub.

The school was put on formal notice right then and there that we would be pressing criminal charges against the school, the boys and their parents, the district, the administration, and every single teacher in the school who was around or had any contact with my son, as well as contacting every single television station and newspaper in the state.  We also told them we would be filing a lawsuit against the district, school, administration, and every single teacher and teaching assistant in the school if there was so much as 1 hair on my son's body ever touched again.

The very next morning as the teacher was clearing out the 2 bullies' desks, the class was told they "moved" away from the school.  My son's teacher told us a couple of weeks later that she didn't realize the stranglehold those 2 boys had over her class until they were gone.  The entire climate of the classroom changed and there was a collective sigh of relief and children started relaxing, laughing, and enjoying school.  To be honest, that statement pissed me off as much as the school's lack of reporting and reaction to these bullying incidents.  How could a teacher not notice a stranglehold of fear that's been placed on her classroom by 2 hoodlums?!!

My son finished out his school year there and we found a house quickly in a different school district so he would never have to attend that school ever again.  By that time though, the damage was done.  My son was forever scarred.  We thought that moving him out of that school and putting him in a great school would erase the incidents from his mind.  My how simple-minded we were.

For over half of his first year of 4th Grade, he secretly lived in fear.  He was afraid to get close to anyone at the school for fear that someone would try to hurt him.  He trusted NO teacher, classmate, administrator, or school personnel.  None.  The hurt still lingered and it was etched into his heart.

He did a great job of hiding his hurt.  We knew he was scared when he started that year but we didn't realize at that time how deep the fear ran.  In January of that school year, we still weren't seeing "our son", so we decided to seek counseling for him from both the school and our church.  Within a couple of weeks we saw signs of progress.  When we saw the first natural smile and real, unforced laugh from him in over a year, it brought us to tears.

For those who think a child that age will just "get over it", you're grossly mistaken.  3 years later he still remembers how he felt.  3 years later he still remembers the violence like it happened yesterday.  3 years later he still remembers the teacher doing nothing to protect him.  No, a child will never just "get over it".

3 years later I still remember how I felt.  3 years later I look back and see all of the things that I could have done better and earlier.  3 years later I look back and my heart aches as I say "If only I had......".  There are so many things I wish I would have done differently but the past can't be changed.  All I can do is acknowledge my failures and move forward with a new level of knowledge and commitment.

My son is now in middle school and doing well.  He continued to wear the cross necklace we'd bought him  as his touchstone.  For my son, that necklace became a symbol of Jesus giving him the strength to fight back with amazing force, with the will and strength of character to overcome the psychological effects of all he endured.

Last Friday that cross broke in half while he was at school.  My son told me it was almost like Jesus was telling him that that part of his life was over and it was time to move forward.  This weekend we are taking him shopping for a new cross necklace.  While the last cross was a reminder of protection, safety, and comfort, this new one will include hope, thankfulness, and a happy future.

If you or someone you know is being bullied, don't stand by silently hoping it will end.  It won't, it usually just gets worse.  Get help.  Tell someone.  If you're a parent of a child being bullied, scream loud and keep screaming until the violence ends.  Take it to whatever level you need to to stop the violence.  If you don't know what to do, go to the government's website www.stopbullying.gov.  There is a list of resources all the way up to the governmental level to help you end the violence.  It's time for this violence to end and for children to no longer be victims.

Memory Lane

As my children get older and I see them interacting with their grandparents, I stroll back in time to my childhood.  I loved my grandparents dearly and looking back at the time and energy they spent to teach me about life means more to me today than it did back then.

Even though my grandparents have passed away, lately there have been many times when I can almost sense their approving presence.  Usually it's when either myself or my parents are in the middle of teaching my children something which has been handed down through the generations when the feeling becomes strong. 

There have been times when I thought if I turned my head, I might actually see them looking over my shoulder.  There have been other times when I can almost hear their voice and feel their touch as they instructed me so many years ago.  It is in these times when I feel so blessed to have had them in my life for the time God allowed them to be here on earth, and yet sad they aren't still here.

All of those years they lovingly schooled me in what they'd learned from their parents and grandparents.  There are many times when I wish I had listened more closely and asked more questions.  To have learned more tricks to sewing (like how to actually sew a straight line) from both my maternal and paternal grandmothers would be of such benefit to me today.  Oh, to have the opportunity to watch my maternal grandmother make her infamous gumbo just one more time would be the cat's meow.

I wish I would have appreciated my maternal grandfather more as he baited my fishing hooks when we'd go out fishing together.  Baiting hooks and tying hooks onto fishing line is definitely an artform.

 To have been granted much more time with my paternal grandfather is something I've longed for since he passed away when I was just 8 years old.  He was also a photography buff and oh the things I might have learned from him.  My memories with him though are of games, and tickles, and lots of horsing around.

As I look back through my life up until today, I think of all the people and experiences who have influenced me and made me the person I am today.  Unlike many who profess they are "self-made" men or women, I'm definitely not one of them.

No, I believe my life is a compilation of all those who have taken the time to be a part of my life.  When my grandparents were teaching me the things they knew, they were imparting a piece of them into me.  As I have grown up and matured, I have become like a puzzle whose pieces have fused together and created the zany, serious, introspective, light-hearted, God-fearing, crazy redhead I am today.  And I pray that I pass on a little bit of each one of them on to my children......

by:  Christie Bielss

Being Thankful

 

The month of November brings to mind the beginning of the holiday season here in the USA.  Last year on Facebook, as so many of my friends did, I posted at least one thing per day I was genuinely thankful for. 

This year, with all of the craziness and decidedly difficult circumstances my family and our nation have faced, I've decided to look at the 30 Days of Thankfulness on the lighter side of life.  So here we go:

* Day 1:  Thankful for Hershey's Milk Chocolate bars and for Hershey's continuing to make them in a peanut-free environment so I can consume them.

* Day 2:  Thankful for the clothing manufacturer who discovered how to discreetly incorporate spandex in denim.  I can now wear jeans and eat.

* Day 3:  Thankful for curling irons and hair styling products.  Without them I would walk around looking like a Q-Tip on a daily basis.

* Day 4:  Thankful to have a husband who, while sitting at a stop light, has no compulsion whatsoever about dancing in the car to the music of the car next to us and embarrassing our children so badly they duck down into the floorboard.

* Day 5:  Thankful to be able to connect with old friends on Facebook.

* Day 6:  Thankful to be able to unfriend old friends on Facebook.

* Day 7:  Thankful I have 2 children who were able to show me how to use my cell phone.

* Day 8:  Thankful for earplugs....... so I can sit in the house "undisturbed" while my husband watches his Dallas Cowboy football games.

* Day 9:  Thankful for the platypus - just because I like the animal's name.

* Day 10:  Thankful for my son learning to keep his sneakers in his room.  The aroma which eminates from the shoes have now made his room a completely pest free zone.

* Day 11:  Thankful for my daughter deciding to play hairdresser with my hair and then having a friend come to the door when I have 32 ponytails, 6 barrettes, and 3 headbands strategically placed all over my head and told me they thought I looked great.

* Day 12:  Thankful for Neutra-Air.  No further explanation is necessary.

* Day 13:  Thankful for Target Stores getting all new grocery carts that don't click or clack, veer off on their own, or have a wheel that wobbles enough to register as an earthquake on the USGS registry.

* Day 14:  Thankful I have very boney elbows which work quite well at deterring strangers from entering my personal space at Black Friday sales.

* Day 15:  Thankful for Hobby Lobby, Michael's, JoAnn Fabrics, and Hancock Fabrics.  I think many will understand with no further explanation necessary.

* Day 16:  Thankful for the person at the local gas station who made me feel like I was much less of a germ-a-phobe after witnessing them cleaning the gas pump handle with an antibacterial wipe.

* Day 17:  Thankful I have only confused the bottle of cinnamon with the cayenne pepper once since I learned to cook.

* Day 18:  Thankful for the "mute" button on the television remote control.

* Day 19:  Thankful for texting as it appears to be the only way some families communicate in the same house.......while everyone is in the house together.

* Day 20:  Thankful for the genius who invented dishwasher detergent packets.  Now if they could just invent a way for the dishes to move themselves into the dishwasher......

* Day 21:  Thankful for the F.D.A. requiring pharmaceutical companies to let me know during commercial advertisements if that particular drug will give me an undesirable side effect....... like rainbow colored urine or a black hairy tongue.

* Day 22:  Thankful for Legos.  Stepping on one and experiencing searing, life-altering pain running through my foot reminds me I still have feeling in that particular region of my body.

* Day 23:  Thankful for the school pickup/drop-off lines which allow me to practice my Kamikaze driving skills daily.  BANZAI!!!

* Day 24:  Thankful for deoderant made specifically for preteens and teens.  My nose is deliriously happy with the creators of this ever so necessary grooming component.

* Day 25:  Thankful for junk mail.  Without it spread out and completely covering every flat surface in my kitchen, I might actually have to dust.

* Day 26:  Thankful for Chinese food.  The one meal where I can feed my children all sorts of different vegetables and they don't complain or ask what it is.

* Day 27:  Thankful for makeup because without it, I'd be scaring little children daily.

* Day 28:  Thankful Lowe's and Home Depot stock gas cans year round and that I never have to wonder about how long one will last before deteriorating from old age at my house.

* Day 29:  Thankful for girdles.  Yes, I look like a stuffed sausage in them but they allow me to fit into those jeans that are just a wee bit too tight.

* Day 30:  Thankful for this blog where I have a place to write down all of my quirky thoughts and musings and people are actually enjoying reading them if for nothing more than to allow themselves to feel normal compared to me.


And that's my 30 Days of Thankfulness.  May you all enjoy the many quirks, idiosyncracies, and comedy that is before you not just for the month of November, but the whole year through.

by:  Christie Bielss

Love One Another

I was in the fabric store the other day buying material to make my daughter a white angel costume for Halloween.  Apparently the stores have decided that this is the year for children to be the angel of death or the pink ballerina angel, but not a regular white heavenly angel.  Having my child dress up as the angel of death just didn't sit right with me so I tried talking her into being the pink ballerina angel at the store but all I got was an exasperated sigh and "Mooooom???  There's no such thing as pink angels in heaven". 

It's pretty hard to reason with that logic and no amount of encouragement on my part could get her to start a fashion trend by being the pink angel.  After hitting 6 other stores plus Goodwill, I finally gave up and went to the fabric store to buy some plain white costume fabric and a simple pattern for my little angel's dress. 

As I sat there flipping quickly through the pages of several pattern books at the same time (yes, I'm talented like that) looking for something acceptable (i.e. super easy and cheap), I couldn't help but overhear a woman speaking to someone she recognized.  As hard as I tried to ignore her, I couldn't.  Her voice carried to such a degree she could be a color announcer for sporting events and never need a microphone.

Before I knew it, the loud woman was asking her acquaintance (a younger woman) what church she was attending because she hadn't seen her recently.  Put on the spot in front of a store packed full of women doing last minute Halloween shopping, the quiet woman tried to quietly explain that her family had moved and were attending a church closer to their new home.  The brash woman blurted "Don't tell me you're going to blah-blah church?  That place is like Six Flags Amusement Park! HA!  That place has a bunch of people who are just too into Jesus for me.". 

The younger woman just stared at her and there was an awkward silence between them.  The older woman then picked up right where she'd left off and continued berating her in front of a store full of people "Oh my gosh! You're going to that church?! How can you handle being around all of those kind of people?!"

At this point my redheaded self was getting mighty peeved with this woman and I knew it would have taken every ounce of control I could muster to keep myself in check.  After a long quiet stare, the quieter woman spoke "I don't believe I need to continue this conversation with you, nor do I need to justify my choice in houses of worship.  Have a nice day.".

And with that the quieter woman walked off.  The loud woman turned to the fabric cutting employee and said "Ooooooo! I must've touched a nerve!".  The employee had her back to me but I heard her terse reply of "and how much fabric were you needing?".

This encounter really set me on edge.  There are over 2 billion Christians on this planet and with those billions come different worship needs and desires.  What right does one Christian have to denigrate another person's choice in worship? 

Maybe you like organ music, someone else likes a guitar, another person like a full orchestra, another person likes the rock band style, and someone else prefers no music at all.  Who are we to judge how someone else choses to worship?  Isn't the Bible clear on judging others?  Matthew 7:1-3 (NKJV) “Judge not, that you be not judged. ² For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. ³ And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?

As this woman demeaned the other woman in front of a store full of people, how many of those customers were non-Christians?  How many were just turned off from ever wanting to learn more about Jesus because of how rude, hateful, and judgmental this particular woman was?

I am by no stretch of the imagination perfect and make more than my fair share of mistakes daily. But people, we all need to stop and think before we act or open our mouths and do something injurious to another. Ask yourself "Is this what Jesus would want me say or how He wants me to act?".

There are enough things in this world for a Christian to get up in arms about, but someone's choice in a house of worship, as long as it falls in line with the Bible, should not be one of them.  Do you think this is how Jesus wants us to act not only amongst ourselves, but with others?  Is this why He allowed Himself to be beaten and crucified on a cross? 

Matthew 22:36-40
³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^{[a] 38} This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^{[b] 40} All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

by:  Christie Bielss

Faith and Hope

Sometimes, no matter how hard you wish for it not to happen, life falls apart around you. Do you throw your hands up in the air and succumb to the pressures or do you hang on to your faith and hope knowing this time will pass?  

You may be wondering where this crazy redhead went again.  Well, life took a bit of a crazy turn and my husband lost his job.  It's been a very difficult week as we have tried to make sense of it all.

You would think we would be sad, beaten down, and even dismayed at having to be out looking for a job in this job market.  We were.  There was a feeling of loss and anger, but we've picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off, and are moving forward.  God will put us where He wants us to be and we just have to trust.  So faith and hope is the path we have chosen.

What is it like when your husband is suddenly under foot every minute of every day?  Well, let's just say it's like having a toddler around again.  You can't open the refrigerator without him asking what you're eating.  You can't talk on the phone with your girlfriend because he wants to join in on the conversation and make witty remarks about you both.  And heaven forbid if you should want to quietly use the ladies room.  Having my husband home is similar to having a Royal Herald announcing my every move "The Redhead is now going to the kitchen!  The Redhead is going to vacuum!  The Redhead is hiding in the ladies room!". 

Obviously this underfootedness is not conducive to anything getting done.  My house hasn't been vacuumed or dusted, the laundry is still in the dryer from a few days ago, my bathrooms make roadside rest stop lavatories look clean, and there is really no point in even fluffing the sofa cushions since he's parked his derriere there with the television remote alternating between the many channels that are about restoring old cars.

So what is a poor, beleagured wife to do?  Well let me give you a hint.  Get an inexpensive spiral notebook and a pen and start making a honey-do list.  Put everything you could ever think of and dream of on this list.  A few of mine include: use the Shop-Vac to suck out the alien life form that's clogging our daughter's sink drain, dead-head the geraniums, grease all of the door hinges so every time a door is opened it doesn't sound like the Addam's Family home, spray bug killer around the house so I don't have to share my toothbrush, use the toothpaste the children have so generously left on the bathroom counters and sinks to buff out stains on the bathroom countertop. 

All of the trash cans in our house (as well as the ones that go to the curb) could use a good scrubbing, so I made sure to write those down too.  I have even listed for him to use the extendable feather-duster to dust all of the cobwebs out of every ceiling corner in every room, and tighten all of the toilet bases more securely to the floor. 

We have really big oak trees in our backyard and my husband's pretty handy, so I wrote down an idea for him to make a tree swing.  I figure that will take at least 6 months to complete and it's an outdoor activity.  

I showed my husband the spiral and after reading what I've written down so far, he said he appreciated all of my hard work in creating such a detailed list.  He went so far as to say that my list was "inspiring" .............. inspiring him to check all of the new job postings multiple times a day.  My work here is done........

by:  Christie Bielss