Do I feel sorry for myself? Not generally. Maybe it's because I vent my frustration "extraordinarily well" (LOL) at the moment something happens, which makes it easier for me to move on. It's also because my family and friends have always pushed me with the "in a room full of people, I'll take mine" attitude since this disease reared it's ugly head over 20 years ago.
For me, I think what keeps me pushing foward most of all, is hanging onto Isaiah 40:29-31
"He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary,And the young men shall utterly fall,
31 But those who wait on the LordShall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint."
In the grand scheme of things, life on earth is short. One day I will run again and maybe have races with my kids. One day I will be able to pick up small objects again. One day I won't have to worry about my arm twitching and causing my food or drink to spill. One day I won't be self-conscience about how atrophied my hands look. One day is a day I look forward to.
Until that day of wholeness arrives, I choose to try not to be frustrated at what I can't do and focus on what I can do. Until that day arrives, I choose to live life by plastering a smile on my face even though it would be easier to fall into a deep well full of griping, moaning, and crying. Until that day arrives, I choose to improvise and keep moving forward the best way I know how.
I put that nail in the wall all.by.myself. After mumbling and grumbling under my breath when I dropped the nail several times, I realized that while my fingers may not be able to hold that nail anymore, my hand can hold a pair of needle-nose pliers, which can hold that nail long enough for me to pound it into the wall. Within a minute or two, that picture was hung.......... and it never looked better.
Written by Christie Bielss
No comments :
Post a Comment