Friday, May 17, 2013

World's Longest Umbilical Cord

cell phone, helicopter parent, texting

What is the world's longest umbilical cord?  The cell phone. 

I saw a Kindergartner carrying a cell phone at my kids' school the other day.  He was texting his parent, who was already in the school's pick-up line, to find out how far back she was and how long he'd have to wait for her to arrive at the pick-up zone.

I love my kids more than life itself and maybe I'm old school, but when I drop my kids off at school, I really don't want an open line of communication with them.  When I pick them up from school, we have a nice face-to-face conversation about their day.  I get to hear all about the amount of gas they passed, what little Johnny did on the playground that embarrassed all the girls, and how little Sally makes them gag at lunch because she refuses to chew with her mouth closed.

I'm pretty sure if my kids had a cell phone in elementary school, I'd receive picture texts all day long showing them standing in line for the water fountain, waiting their turn to use the restroom, or what little Sally looks like with her mouth full of food.

A mom told me she likes to text her child during the day and tell them she loves them.  To keep up with the Jones' without a cell phone, I got the idea to send a Post-It note in my children's lunches that said "I Love You!".  When I picked them up from school that day, they were so embarrassed by my gesture, they had their jackets over their heads so no one would recognize them.  I decided not to ask if it was also because I'd cut their sandwiches into the shape of a heart.

Another mom told me she volunteers at the school every single day and, to show her support of her child's education, sits with her child through a number of the child's classes.  I went up for my kids' class party and within 15 minutes I was ready to run for the hills.  My escape was thwarted though when my bum became wedged in the little kid-sized chair.  After several failed attempts to get up, I had to ask another mom to hold the chair while I tried to get up.  My exit from the chair was about as graceful as a combined episode of "I Love Lucy" meets "The Three Stooges".

After that episode, I realized I'm not meant to keep up with the Jones'.  I throw my kids' sandwiches in their lunch box and usually end up smushing their drink on top of their cookies.  If I've remembered to include in their lunch the four basic food groups, a drink, and a napkin, then I'm doing pretty good.

I support their education by hounding them to do their homework every day.  There is a lot of gnashing and grinding of teeth, pulling of hair, spilling of tears, and begging that happens every single day............ and that's just on my part.

No, I wasn't cut out to be a helicopter parent who hovers over their child's every decision and move.  I am just your regular average parent.  I am thrilled with my children's successes and I try to raise them up through their failures.  I have hope that one day they will instinctively know when life throws a curve ball and knocks them down, they can raise themselves back up on their own two feet.  I pray they both know I will be standing on the sidelines cheering them on every step of the way....... without having to text it to them while they're in school, or sit through their classes with them.

by: Christie Bielss

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