Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Menopause Isn't For Wimps

menopause, hot flashes, what is menopause

Oh the changes we go through as we age!  We just thought teenage hormones were crazy until we hit our 40's and 50's and discovered that old age hormones are equally as nuts.  The difference between then and now is that we don't have the energy to do some of the stupid stuff we did as teenagers.  There are so many changes though which just don't make sense, like:

Why does it takes 6 months for my hair to grow out from a bad haircut but a gray chin hair can grow 6 inches in less than 2 hours?

Why is it that with female menopause we gain weight and have hot flashes, but with male menopause they drive motorcycles and date 20 year olds?

What is it about hitting the mid-40's that causes your eyesight to all of the sudden diminsh?  Yesterday I could read a newspaper.  Today I have to hold it 4 feet out in front of me to be able to make out the large print.

Why isn't there a Cliff Note version to what happens to our bodies as we mature?  It could be short and sweet and say something like:

In your 20's: nice tight muscles and no cellulite

In your 30's:  you'd better start exercising or that muffin you're eating today will be hanging over your waistband tomorrow.

In your 40's:  You've discovered that your internal thermostat has become stuck on inferno.  This is the time in your life when you realize you do not want to spend eternity in hell - you're in it and it is H.O.T.!

In your 50's:  you're getting new muscle definition in your arms - due to the effort of having to lift "the girls" into a bra every morning.  Your internal thermostat is now completely bi-polar and fluctuates between inferno and the polar ice cap.  Your personality is also experiencing changes.  One minute you're happy and the next minute you're so angry over your toothpaste container being empty that your head is spinning and your body is levitating off the ground.

In your 60's:  you go on a daily search mission for your car keys so you can drive to the store only to discover you left something out of place in the bedroom which requires you to put it away, which causes you to come upon an empty water bottle you forgot to throw in the recycling bin, and reminds you to drink more water, so you open the refrigerator door discover your car keys....... but you can't remember where it was you were going.

In your 70's:  it's time to travel to those fun and exotic places you've never had time to see and wear a bikini on the beach to scare all the 20 year olds.  It's also the time in your life when you begin using the phrase "they've got brakes" regularly when driving.

In your 80's:  you're looked upon as a fountain of information but, for the most part, you just want people to shut their pie hole.

Aging and menopause isn't for wimps.  Laugh at the changes, go with the flow and make sure to capture it all with your camera so your kids will have something to laugh about for years to come.

by: Christie Bielss

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