Life After the Kids Graduate College: Surviving the Empty Nest Syndrome

The last ten years have been a bit of a marathon, filled with family challenges, serious injuries, illnesses, and the loss of my father. For a while, laughter and everyday joy felt like they had packed up and gone on vacation without me. But the good Lord never stopped nudging me forward. Well... "nudging" might be giving Him too much credit. It was probably more like a well-aimed boot to the backside. Either way, I'm finally starting to laugh more, find joy in the little things again, and rediscover my voice. Apparently, God wasn't accepting "maybe later" as an answer.

 **Life After the Kids Graduate College: Surviving the Empty Nest Syndrome** 

Ah, the moment every parent dreams about: the day your child(ren) graduate from college, get a job, spread their wings, and fly the nest. They say life after your kids graduate from college is a golden era filled with blissful peace and quiet, but let’s be real: it’s more like a rollercoaster of emotions coated with a hefty dose of confusion. 

**The Sudden Silence** 

The first thing you notice after your kids move out is the deafening silence. Gone are the days of “Mom! Where’s my other sock?” or “Dad, can you help me build this ridiculously complex science project that requires twelve different kinds of glue? It's due tomorrow!” Instead, you find yourself hearing every creak and noise through the house, convinced that someone might pop out at any moment. You might even start talking to the dog—no judgment here; it’s a real adjustment! 

**Rediscovering Your Grocery Bill** 

With your once-teenage food vacuums now college grads, you’ll notice your grocery bill is suddenly half of what it used to be. You’ll stand in the grocery aisle, holding a family-sized box of Hot Fudge Sundae Pop-tarts, wondering, “Do I still need this?” Your fridge will go from “What’s for dinner?” chaos to “Is a leftover container of queso with chips considered a meal?” panic. Welcome to the new normal, where you find joy in whatever random leftovers make it to your plate! 

**Your Home Is Now a Museum** 

As soon as your kids graduate and head out into the world, your humble abode becomes a glorified museum. “Here lie the bedrooms of a once-aspiring pilot and model,” you muse as you dust their empty room, looking at the blank spaces on the walls that were once adorned with favorite posters and trophies from their youth sports and activities. Every now and then, you find yourself reminiscing about the days when you had to step over a minefield of Legos, Matchbox cars, and dolls to get to the bathroom—those were the days of real adventure! 

**The Parenting Callback** 

After graduation, just when you think your parenting responsibilities are winding down, you realize you are now on call 24/7 for what I like to call *emergency consultations*. “Mom, how do I place a grocery pickup order?” is the frantic call when they realize adulting is far harder than it sounds. “Dad, how much life insurance should I sign up for? And what's AD&D?” becomes a new family quandary. Who knew post-college life would resemble a series of phone interviews to discuss the world’s most confusing concepts?

**The Unexpected Side Effects** 

You may also find yourself suddenly subjected to side effects such as “Hobby Overload.” With all this newfound free time, you might experiment with gardening, quilting, shopping for a wardrobe that isn't based on whether it is socially acceptable for both sleeping and early morning school car-line drop-offs, or maybe you take it a step further and tackle the real monster: organizing the craft/junk room using suggestions from Pinterest or Marie Kondo that are guaranteed to make you the star of the neighborhood. Spoiler: those rooms rarely get completed.

**The Reunion Moment** 

And just when you’re starting to get used to the quiet, you get the call: “Hey Mom, can I come home for a few days?” Your heart does a happy dance as you picture family dinner and saying goodbye to your newfound solitude - even if it's only for a day or two. Before you know it, they roll back in with a suitcase full of laundry and want to take over your Netflix account with their latest binge-worthy series. Suddenly, you’re dodging awkward questions like, “Where's the last slice of cake?” and, "What happened to the Pop-tarts?" 

In the end, while we cherish the memories and lessons learned through parenting, the journey continues, albeit in a different way. Here’s to the empty nest—may it be filled with joy, laughter, and maybe a dog or two to keep you company!

A Redheaded Perspective to the 30 Days of Thanksgiving

I am betting most of you have had at least one person in your social media group participate in the 30 days of Thanksgiving.  Last year I participated in the challenge but, by about day 15, I started having a hard time remembering to post, which was likely aided by having to think outside the box to find things to be thankful for when the easy stuff ran out.  That's not to say I'm not thankful for everything and everyone around me, it just became difficult to find things to post that didn't make me sound like I was giving it a half-hearted effort.

This year, instead of posting once a day for 30 days on my Facebook account, I have decided to post all of the small things for which I am thankful for and I am doing it all in one post.  I've always been told that you can't appreciate the big things in life if you don't stop to be thankful for all of the little things first. So this year, it's all about the little things.

1)  I am thankful for my children no longer feeling the need to issue a "brace yourself" warning to each other when we approach the car launch ramp, I mean exit, to our subdivision during rush hour.  My children have learned to make sure they have secured their belongings, tightened their seatbelts, and have a firm grip on one of the vehicle's grab bars.

2)  I am thankful our dog now recognizes the need to brace herself upon seeing us make our final approach to the car launch ramp.  After nearly 2 years of unsuccessfully using her claws to try to stay upright while looking out the car window as our vehicle moves quickly into an open space in the rush hour traffic, she now jumps down and lays on the floorboard of the car.  My children have decided she would rather not see what's happening and is bracing for impact.

3)  I am thankful for well-timed green lights.  There is nothing more beautiful than driving down a stretch of highway and have the signal lights all change to green as you approach.

4)  Milk Chocolate.  No further explanation necessary.

5)  Puffs Plus.  What is more gratifying than to be able to catch your child's sneeze and not have the tissue disintegrate in your hand upon impact.

6)  The scroll wheel on the mouse.  It is quite satisfying to be able to scroll up or down a computer screen faster than the speed of light.  I do think it would be neat if computer gurus could install a sonic boom noise which would automatically sound when you surpass a certain scrolling speed.

7)  Refrigerator magnets.  Those magnets hold special pieces of artwork, doctor's appointment reminders, and important school information, and they always take a backseat to everyone being thankful for toilet paper.

8)  Dark chocolate.  It's the healthy chocolate and therefore equates to eating a vegetable.

9)  Television and its accompanying electronic components.  "Barney's Super-Singing Circus" VHS tape played every 2-4 hours in my house for my son's first 4 years of life as he underwent nebulizer treatments for asthma.  That tape, while it caused the loss of a great many of my brain cells, was the only thing my son would sit still to watch while allowing a mask to be placed over his nose and mouth to receive the medication.  "Boom, boom, ain't it great to be crazy?!......"

10)  Window blinds and coverings.  I'm sure my neighbors appreciate our judicious use of our blinds and I know I appreciate theirs.

11)  Sunglasses.  While I'm out on sunny or bright days I get to feel like Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly.

12)  Semi-sweet chocolate.  3 words:  Toll House Cookies......

13)  Shopping carts.  Because having to lug a pack mule to the grocery store to carry my items would be even more difficult to load into my SUV than remembering to bring my reusable tote bags.

14)  String.  It can hold a Christmas tree onto the roof of a car, or prevent a car's bumper from dragging the ground.  It can also be in the form of yarn which can be knitted into a cap, socks, or that ugly Christmas sweater Aunt Marge knits for you every.single.year..

15)  Dish scrubbers.  Whether it be a brush, scrubbing sponge, or SOS pad, they just make life easier and, because they are disposable, usually get forgotten on these kinds of lists.

16)  Special dark chocolate.  In case you did not know, it goes well with wine.  You're welcome.

17)  The words "please" and "thank you", as well as "yes/no ma'am" and "yes/no sir".  Whether from an adult or a child, nothing is quite as pleasant as giving and receiving respect through our choice of words in both big and small acts of kindness.

18)  Ranch dressing.  Without this one small food product added to my children's vegetables when they were younger, they would have been carnivores.

19)  A lawn blower/vac.  This one crucial piece of lawn equipment has saved me from sweeping up the sidewalk for months on end, not to mention the reduction in the need to rake leaves in the fall since it vacuums them up directly into a bag.

20)  White chocolate.  It decorates strawberries beautifully when interwoven with milk chocolate.

21)  Potty-trained children and pets.  After having to change a diaper or clean up a pet accident on a rug, no further explanation is necessary.

22)  Staples, paper clips, and binder clips.  Without these essentials, we would all look like hoarders.

23)  Label makers.  Now when I cram things in storage containers, I actually know what is in there.  It has been a budget saver as well since I don't buy 15 of the exact same thing only to lose it somewhere in my house.

24)  Bittersweet chocolate.  Think chocolate raspberry cake with a dark truffle icing.  Every chocolate has a place among mankind.

25)  Toenail clippers with the under-the-nail gunk scraper. Really, whoever came up with the idea of this essential grooming tool was a genius.

26)  Vehicle turn signals...... especially when drivers actually use them.

27)  Erasers and correction tape.  I wish life mistakes could be removed as easily.

28)  Cocoa.  A cold winter's night, a fire in the fireplace, and a cup of hot cocoa.  Cocoa, another life necessity.

29)  Pooper scoopers.  The several feet of clean air space the long-handled scooper affords makes life much sweeter......... smelling.

30)  All of my family, friends, and readers who encourage and support me....... probably against their better judgement. 


Enjoy the crazy relatives and the guess-what-food-that-is-casserole at your family get-togethers.  Wishing you all a safe, joyous, and very happy Thanksgiving!

Written by Christie Bielss

Frozen Food Aisle Capers

Before I was married, the frozen dinner aisle at my local grocery store was a pretty happening place to hang out.  I know many people find the produce section of the grocery store to be a much bigger draw, but I found the selection of fruits and vegetables to be a bit........ awkward.....when socializing.  In the frozen food aisle, single women stood in solidarity as we discussed whether a particular meal met our calorie limitations and was (hopefully) filling and tasted like something other than glue. 

Standing there among the hungry single women, I'd make a good show of trying to decide between the Weight Watcher's grilled chicken with vegetables and the Lean Cuisine chicken piccata, while secretly eyeballing the mouthwatering photos on the boxes of Marie Callender's fried chicken or Stouffer's lasagna with meat sauce.  As we all stood before the freezers' insulated glass doors, many hours were spent discussing the merits of fewer calories versus flavor, while we cast longing, surreptitious glances at the "full flavor" (aka meals with 1,000 calories and 40 grams of fat) meals.

I would chat and wait patiently as everyone made their meal selections and slowly departed the frozen food aisle.  Looking up and down the aisle to make sure the coast was clear, I would quickly pounce on my favorite meal.  With speed reminiscent of Jackie Joyner-Kersee, I'd sprint to those luscious looking fat and calorie-laden frozen meals and quickly stuff one in my cart.

After leaving the aisle, I took great care to make sure the contraband was hidden under something large enough that no part of it was visible.  Knowing that when I reached the cash register to check out, there would inevitably be another female in line who would scrutinize my purchases.

Having been questioned by the cart police on a previous calorie-laden purchase, I made sure to hide my meal well.  Being subjected to the raised eyebrow of shame from the cart police once was enough to make most females never step foot near that part of the freezer section again.

Oh, but not this redhead.  Whether I ate the divine ooey-gooeyness of a chicken pot pie, or let it sit in my freezer so long it built up a frost so thick it could have been mistaken for the iceberg that sunk the Titanic, it did not matter.  It became a challenge to see whether I could make it all the way through the store and through the check-out lane without getting caught.

I started going through the same cashier's line every week after she saw the meal's location on the conveyor belt (hidden between the toilet paper and the multi-pack of facial tissues) and, with a sly grin, distracted shoppers in her lane.  She quickly scanned the meal and shoved it to the bottom of the grocery bag before anyone was the wiser.

She wasn't a redhead, but she was feisty enough that I'm pretty sure it must have been in her bloodline.  Together, we foiled the calorie-counting cart police for a good year before I met my husband and we started dating and got married. 

With having a significant other, I was no longer subjected to the cart police's scrutiny.............. until I had children.........

Written by Christie Bielss