Made in the U.S.A.

I remember back years ago when my mother would purchase boxes of Cracker Jack as a special treat for me and my brothers.  Yes that caramel covered popcorn was good, but eating that sticky goodness wasn't our primary goal.  Our goal was to race each other by digging to the bottom of the box to see what prize was in there and which one of us would be the victor in the game of "who got the best prize".  I've still got some of the rings I dug out of those boxes, just as my brothers still have some of the small knock-off GI Joe's with parachutes attached.  The prizes weren't anything big or grandiose, but they were special because they survived us kids playing with them, unlike many things made these days.



Dbenbenn, Zscout370, Jacobolus, Indolences, Technion

These days when I take my kids to McDonald's for a Happy Meal, the toy inside the box doesn't survive the car trip from the restaurant's drive-thru window to our home.  Within a minute or two I'll hear "Oh man!  This thing stinks!".  And that's when that old song from Queen starts playing in my head "Another one bites the dust".  Inwardly I do jump for joy that this toy will go straight into the trash bin instead of being flung in the middle of my living room floor for me to step on.

Toys aren't the only things which aren't made like they used to.  Our garden hose spigot on our house went out 2 years ago.  My husband went to the plumbing supply store, bought a rather pricey new one and replaced it.  Last summer while we were gone on vacation, the blasted thing broke again and spewed water for several days.

It took a couple of days before our yard flooded enough that water started pouring into the street and alerted the neighbors to a problem.  Thankfully, one of them had the special wrench to shut off the water main to the house.  How is it that the original spigot lasted over 25 years, but the replacement didn't even make it one full year?

We experience manufacturing defects even when we eat out at restaurants.  One of my dad's favorite things to do these days when we go out to eat has been to open one end of a straw wrapper and then surreptitiously blow the straw wrapper at an unwitting family member.  9 times out of 10 he blows into that straw and nothing happens because even the straw wrapper is defective and has holes in it.  This also gives me pause as I ponder whether that straw is actually sanitary due to the number of holes in the wrapper.

My daughter just started gymnastics several weeks ago and had worn her gymnastics clothes twice.  On the third occasion of putting on her leotard and gymnastics knickers, every bit of stitching came out of the waistband of the knickers.  A double row of stitching completely gone in the blink of an eye............ and before she could even get her knickers up.  Now how are you supposed to go out and train with the enthusiasm of a future Olympian if you're afraid your knickers are going to end up around your ankles?

As you may remember, my computer crashed over the Thanksgiving holiday.  I called the computer manufacturer's help-line to see if the computer could be reset.  I pressed "1" for English.  The person who answered the phone quite obviously did not understand English as he kept asking about my television and trying to get me to hit the reset button on the remote.  I gave up and told him to "have a nice day".  Considering the way he gasped, combined with his lack of understanding the English language, he may have thought I insulted his ancestry.  Before I started an international incident, I quickly hung up the phone.

Oh, how I miss items "Made in the U.S.A." and feeling the pride one feels at seeing something made in your own homeland.  Those were the good old days.......

Written by:  Christie Bielss

What A Gas

Our much anticipated summer vacation had finally arrived.  The kids woke up on the first gentle nudge and excitedly sped through their morning routines in an effort to get out the door early.  As I was trying to put the last toiletry items in mine and my children's luggage, my husband was cutting his hair .......... while his suitcase sat on the bed just as empty as it had been the night before.  Typical.  He always packs at the last minute and always ends up forgetting something.  Heck, one year he forgot to pack any pants.  Yep, takes the phrase "going Commando" to a whole new level.

We ended up leaving an hour and half later than I had planned, but it was vacation and we were driving, so our schedule was flexible.  As we were leaving town, we went through the McDonald's drive-thru for breakfast.  My husband ordered his favorite:  sausage biscuits, while the rest of us ate syrup-less hotcakes.  That's right.  We had pancakes without syrup because I don't want sticky gunk all over my car.

My family happily gnoshed on their breakfast while I put the pedal to the metal and tried to make up for lost time due to my husband's primping.  We were about an hour down the road when our senses were assaulted by the smell of a skunk.  We didn't see it, but we sure could smell it.  We rolled the windows down and quickly aired out the car.  I felt sorry for whoever hit that skunk because their car probably had to be fumigated to get rid of that stench.

We continued blazing a trail down the highway barreling towards Amarillo, TX for our lunch break/refueling destination.  When we arrived in Amarillo, we stopped at a truck stop that also had several fast food restaurant choices inside.  The family chose Burger King and while I'd have rather eaten the tail end out of that skunk we'd smelled than something from Burger King, I sucked it up and ordered something that resembled chicken.  My family chose to go with cheeseburgers, fries, and a free ice cream cone.

Little did I know when they chose their lunch at that truck stop, we would be fueling more than the car's gas tank.  We hit the road and cheered when we crossed the Texas/New Mexico state line.  It wasn't long after that border crossing when we started encountering some strange aromas.  There was the older pickup truck in front of us that was emitting an odd smell, an open field where, from the rotten egg smell, someone must've hit a natural gas line while drilling.  We were also certain we drove past either a cattle auction yard or dairy farm due to the overwhelming smell of fresh manure.

This trip was definitely having a very negative effect on my olfactory senses.  We stopped at a rest stop in New Mexico to check out an extinct volcano and stretch our legs for a few minutes before braving the mountain passes through Raton, NM and Trinidad, CO.  I used the break to breathe in some fresh mountain air and settle my senses down a bit.

As we headed down the highway I was again assaulted by odors, but this time it became quite apparent what the source was............ and he was sitting right beside me.  I asked him ever so sweetly and discreetly "Ummm honey?  Did you do that?".  He busted out laughing so hard he was crying and managed to squeak out the words:  skunk, truck smell, cow manure, and natural gas. 

Apparently I hadn't smelled any of those things, I had been smelling his emissions.  As he was cackling like a hyena and I was grumbling about how courtesy dictates at least rolling down a window, we were both hit with the motherload of stench.

"Oh good heavens!" I yelled.  I looked over at my husband ready to tie him to the roof of the car when I noticed that he was clawing at the window trying to get it to roll down faster so he could stick his head out and get a breath of fresh air.  As I put my hand over my nose and mouth in an effort to breathe in air less odiferous, I hear a very quiet and polite "pardon me" and then another voice said "excuse me".  Great.  Now 3 people were battling each other with chemical warfare and I was stuck in the car with them.

Yep.  My great idea of hitting some fast food joints so we could make better time on the road had just backfired........... literally.  I was trapped in the car for another 4 hours with 3 people who were emitting toxic fumes.  Between my eyes watering and nose burning, I was pretty sure I'd been hit with the equivalent of a nuclear bomb or sarin nerve gas. 

By the time we made it to our hotel in Colorado Springs to spend the night, their three tummies had finally calmed down.  Burger King and McDonald's sausage biscuits were permanently banned from their diets for the remainder of the trip.  There was one upside to the whole situation.  Apparently when you have a green haze surrounding your vehicle, it does seem to deter tailgaters or anyone from trying to pass your vehicle on the road.

by: Christie Bielss