Who is the Better Driver?

Why is it every time we get in the car to drive anywhere, my husband and son start talking smack about how men are better drivers than women.  "You know, most NASCAR drivers are men.  In the movies, they use male stunt drivers..... even for scenes when females are driving.  Evel Knievel was a man and there has not been a She-vel Knievel", and on they go to ad nauseam.

I listen to this nonsense even though national statistics prove women are the safer drivers.  As proof of that data, I have only had one car wrecked since I have been driving.  Who totaled it?  My husband. And yet he is still convinced he is the better driver.

A number of years ago, I made the executive decision that I would do all of the driving in our household. Why?
A) Because my husband does not like to drive;
B) When he looks around while he is driving, his hands turn the steering wheel in whichever direction his eyes move.  Being in the car while he is driving is like being in a lifeboat in the middle of an apocalyptic, your-life-is-flashing-before-your-eyes hurricane.

The last time he drove on a long car trip was in 1999.  He had taken over driving after we stopped for a leg-stretching break at a rest stop.  We were about 20 minutes down the road, when he started looking around at the scenery. 

The car began to sway back and forth. First we went left, then we went right. Within a few minutes of this rollercoaster ride, I got motion sick.  After I made him pull off the highway (so I could get sick on the side of the road), I took over the driving......... and have not given him the opportunity to drive me anywhere since.  He contends it was not his driving but that I got ahold of some bad chocolate.  There is no such thing as "bad" chocolate.

Recently while we were in the grocery store, I discovered my husband drives the shopping cart the same way he drives a car.  This discovery was a rather rude eye-opener when he took out an endcap of potted meat while he was perusing the macaroni and cheese on the other side of the aisle.

After we put all of the cans back on the shelf and I was muttering under my breath about what "fantastic" drivers men are, we turned the corner onto the cereal aisle.  We hadn't taken 5 steps down the aisle when we encountered a husband pushing a shopping cart behind his wife.  As the man pointed to a box of Pop-Tarts to his right, he pushed the shopping cart left.  He took out an entire shelf of Fruit Loops.

In a show of solidarity, my husband called out to the man and told him it was a combination of the uneven floor and the shopping cart's propensity to make a hard left turn which caused the destruction.  I looked at my husband and asked if he had used his Spidey-vision to get the level of the floor.

This Spring, my dad began been teaching our son to play golf.  Because we have hit the dog days of summer, my parents decided to take our son to a golf superstore and let him practice putting in an air-conditioned environment.

After he and my dad were finished putting, my son took over pushing the shopping cart from my mom.  As my dad was showing him another teenager putting, my son ran the shopping cart into a bank of 50+ putters.  Much to their horror, the putters fell down one after another like a bunch of lined up dominoes.  He apparently got the driving gene from his father.

But men are better drivers than women..........

Christie Bielss

Changing In An Instant

Last week while checking out at the grocery store, I had a rather unpleasant experience.  It was something so simple it should've been no big deal, and yet it became so much more.  It was an incident that made me stop and question my own way of thinking.  Most people would think it was ridiculous and so miniscule of an experience it's not worth anything more than to be a passing aggravation.  For me, it's been more than that.  How is it possible for something so simple and innocuous to change a person in an instant?



Public Domain Image

I don't really know.  What I do know is this incident has made me look inward and ask if who I am on the inside is who the world sees on the outside.  Is my perception of my behavior how I really appear to others, or is my perception skewed by my own arrogance?

As I said, the incident was nothing.  It was ridiculous.  It was simply a cashier at the grocery store who became angry when I asked her to price match a single item out of the many groceries I was purchasing.  She got quite upset and didn't want to be inconvenienced to press the few extra buttons on the cash register to over-ride the store price and she made a big show out of her aggravation.

If I had been alone and experienced this, I'd have written it off as typical, but on this trip my daughter was with me.  The woman's attitude and demeanor were such that my daughter asked me what was wrong with the woman.  She wanted to know why she got so mad if this was a normal service the store offered.

My daughter's questions and bewilderment at the cashier's behavior got me to thinking:  what are we saying to younger generations when we not only act this way, but accept this level of service as normal?  Have we become such a "me" society that even when we work or are out in society, we think it's ok to behave in any manner we choose?  Why has it become ok, or even expected, to put ourselves first and to never exercise any control over our words, actions, or emotions?

The cashier was going to be working the same number of hours at her cash register whether she had to price match an item or not.  Her salary was not reduced because the store chose to entice customers to do all of their shopping in one place by price matching.  There was no excuse for her attitude and downright rudeness.  And, as a customer, because I accepted this level of service as though it were a normal part of my transaction, I perpetuated this woman's behavior. 

This incident has really made me miss Miss Manners.  I miss etiquette.  I miss social responsibility.  I miss people being held accountable by their peers.  But mostly I miss people being hospitable to their "neighbors".  I miss society having a level of expectation where cursing in public was not only frowned upon but taboo, when people dressed in nice clothing when they left their homes, when courtesy and kindness were the norm, and when people treated others as they would like to be treated.

So how has this incident affected me?  It's made me realize that I have allowed the world's view to creep in and push aside the morals and social responsibility I was brought up with.  By saying and doing nothing, I actively accepted undesirable behavior, like this woman displayed, as normal or even acceptable.  Because I have become so accustomed to this behavior, as nauseating as it makes me feel just thinking about it, I'm sure I have most likely treated people this way myself.  Having the wide-eyed innocence of my daughter question the appropriateness of this situation opened my eyes and made this a game changer.

It's wonderful that many people step out of their everyday lives to help out at soup kitchens, sort clothes at donation locations, and build homes for the needy.  But what about your everyday life?  Isn't treating all people with kindness, courtesy and respect equally as worthy?  Is it really too much effort to say please and thank you, or hold a door open for someone, or offer your seat (or maybe your place in line) to someone much older than you?

At some point, the buck has to stop somewhere.  I have presented the challenge to my children and they have chosen to accept the challenge.  From this point forward, we are going to make a concerted effort to follow Miss Manner's rules for our behavior.  We are going to work at controlling our tongues and our attitudes and truly focus on treating others as we would like to be treated.  We may not change the world, but we can change the way we touch other's lives by working to make a positive impact.

An avalanche usually begins when an outside force or sound causes an area to break free of its bonds and move with great speed.  Maybe you'll decide to join us and we can break free of the bonds of anger, disrespect, and unkindness and start an avalanche toward a better society together.  Will you pick up the gauntlet and join us in this challenge?  I hope and pray so.

Written by Christie Bielss
<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/11773429/?claim=s59yh49cynq">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Finding Grocery Savings

This past Friday, I spent half the morning preparing my taxes for 2013.  I finished them on Saturday morning and e-filed them.  SUCCESS, I thought!  Then, it dawned on me that for 2014 to be a successful year for my family, I needed to work on a project from Dave Ramsey that I vowed I would do this year.  I wanted to see how much of our money was going to groceries, as well as dining out at restaurants and frequenting fast food drive-thru's.


Public Domain image courtesy of Junior Libby

For this project I took all of our bank statements from last year and would need to highlight each expenditure listed and categorize it so I could see where our money was/is going.  Because Dave Ramsey is a proponent of children being involved in budgetary issues, and because I could see this could easily take me several days if I did it myself, I gave each of my kids a different colored highlighter and a specific category.  I then handed them each half of the statements, and we all got to work.

I have to say that it was quite the eye-opening experience.  We had our successes, like cutting our "eating out" expenses in half, but we also discovered a money-gobbler:  grocery store expenses.  Over $13,000 worth of grocery store expenses.  And yes, we did do a little bit of clothing and Christmas shopping at Walmart and Target, but only to the tune of $138 for 2013 (yes, I keep every single receipt for a period of time).

I haven't figured out yet whether the huge increase in grocery expenses has been because of the increase in the price of groceries, or if I'm having to buy more food because my kids have gotten older and are starting to eat a lot more as they begin growth spurts.  One thing is for sure, it is time to try and cut that expense.  The only problem with this idea is that I'm already shopping at Walmart and Sam's Club, so I'm getting some pretty good prices and am out of ideas.

I need some fresh ideas on what you, or someone you know, does to save money.  I used to live debt-free before I got married and after 24+ years of marriage, I'm sick of owing people money.  Being in debt restricts my ability to do things for my family and for other people, and that drives me batty.  Not to mention the strangle-hold it feels like it places on me when my children want to participate in a sport or activity.

As a first step, we have decided to build our own vegetable garden this year in an effort to save money on the produce aisle.  We eat a lot of vegetables and my kids like to garden, so I'm hoping to make this a win-win proposition.  My debt snowball will hopefully get reduced while my children learn about growing their own food and being self-sufficient.

While this is a good start, we need to find additional ways to save money.  So, if you have a way you grocery shop which helps save your family money, even if it's just how you organize or meal plan, I'd be thrilled if you'd share your successes with me.  If you have a favorite grocery store that you've found has great prices, or if you have a great way to get grocery coupons or bargains, please share.  Thank you in advance to everyone who shares their advice, tips, bargain places, and any other information which will be of help!

Written by:  Christie Bielss

Old Men and Walmart

Grocery shopping at Walmart is a different experience every time I shop there.  From oddly clothed people, to people doing things they wouldn't do in any other store, to experiences you won't get at Central Market, Walmart really delivers on a vast assortment of experiences which would make Miss Manners faint. 

There weren't many people at this particular Walmart location except for a contingent of older folks from the local assisted living center.  When I walked through the doors, most had already completed their shopping and were waiting on their bus to return to pick them up.

I was happily shopping in the peace and quiet while enjoying seeing next to no one in the store.  As I started to head down the breakfast foods aisle an older man was at the far end making his way quickly toward me.  He was moving at a pretty quick pace and was obviously in quite a hurry.

He passed by me right as I was about halfway down the aisle........and then, it hit me. The smell.............. oh dear Lord, the smell. He'd either poo'd in his pants or he was so old he was rotting. 

The oxygen was quickly being sucked out of my lungs as I looked for the quickest exit.  Unfortunately, I was smack dab in the middle of the aisle with no quick escape. With the remaining oxygen I had left, I pushed my cart as hard as I could and sprinted down the aisle for safety.

Just as I made it to the end of the aisle, I nearly plowed into a couple with a small child who had just turned the corner. With tears running down my face and my lungs ready to burst, I only had enough breath to say these 4 words "old man passed gas! Save yourselves!". 

My self-preservation instinct had kicked into high gear and prevented me from stopping to see if they understood me.  As I rounded the corner and started sucking in sweet air free of horrific and toxic fumes, I could hear coughing, gagging and a small child's pitiful cries....... 

I returned a little while later to that aisle to check and see if the Walmart personnel had removed their bodies.......

by: Christie Bielss