A Redhead Cellular Rant

WARNING:  REDHEAD RANT!

You ran through a stoplight in a big SUV and nearly broadsided a car loaded with children.  You hit a curb at 40mph and caused both of the tires on the passenger side of your car to explode.  Pieces of your tires exploded everywhere causing vehicles around you to dart around tire remnants on the road, as well as having to dodge pieces falling from the sky like bomb shrapnel.  You crossed over into oncoming traffic and nearly hit a car head-on.  If I hadn't honked at you, you would have driven off a bridge and dropped 20-30 feet down into a creek and likely drown.  And this was only what I observed LAST WEEK!



Use of cell phones prohibited © Public Domain | Wikimedia Commons

On a good day, when you are actually paying attention to the road, you drive completely oblivious to others around you, either as though you own the road or you think you're the only person on the road.  Stick that cellular device in your hand and you drive like a drunk, blind monkey who has broken loose from the zoo.  You are equally, if not more, dangerous than a drunk.  And what's more, you are dumber than a stump for doing what you're doing.

Every single time you look at your phone, pick it up, or try to touch a button on it, you become as lethal as a nuclear bomb.  Yelling at you has done nothing.  Honking the horn at you has prevented you from going off the sides of roads, bridges, and overpasses.  But, to be perfectly honest, you need to wake up and know that drivers are 100% aware of what you're doing and you are starting to really tick us off!

You think because you hold your cell phone down below the dash or side windows, no one will know you're texting while driving or reading your Facebook messages.  Well guess what?  We know!  It's as obvious as the stripes on a zebra.  You drive like crap when you aren't on your phone, but you become downright dangerous when you are on it.

While you may think you are 'all that and a box of chocolates' and you think your importance is defined by how many calls you make and how many texts you send every minute of every day, let me inform you now that you aren't that important.  If you were, you'd be in a limo and have your own personal driver. 

Let me tell you something else Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss Whoever-You-Think-You-Are, when you go to jail for injuring or killing someone because of your over-inflated, self-absorbed, egomaniacal need to feel important, you won't be that box of chocolates.  You will just be a number.  Prisoner number ____ to be a little more exact.

Your name will not be associated with the rich and powerful.  Your name will be associated with every other murderer, attempted murderer, and crack-head who has ever been convicted of a crime and put behind bars.

So put down that blasted phone and pay attention to the road.  Your vehicle IS a lethal weapon, not only for you but for everyone in your path.  Whoever calls you can wait to speak to you until you reach a safe area to pull over or your destination.  Whoever texts you can also wait until it's safe for you to reply.

Driving already requires you to be a multi-tasker on its own.  You don't need to add any additional tasks while you are behind the wheel.  Remember, every single time you touch that phone while you are behind the wheel of a car, you are not only jeopardizing your own life and anyone who is in the car with you, but everyone on the road, sidewalk, sitting inside their homes, and anywhere else your car ends up landing because you're too busy playing with the buttons on your phone than you are driving. 

PUT DOWN THAT BLASTED PHONE AND DRIVE!!!

Written by Christie Bielss