The Driving Force

Inspiration comes in as many different forms as there are people on the earth.  While many are inspired in similar ways, every person has a unique internal mechanism which gets recharged by a certain special experience.  That particular driving force creates a level of hope, calm, and understanding within each one of us which inspires us to do great works.

It is also that internal spark of resilience which inspires people after experiencing unthinkable injuries and tragedies to keep taking one step forward, when it seems like it would be so much easier to drown in a sea of anger, self-pity, and doubt.  That spark inside the deepest depth of their soul keeps pushing them to get back up, take one more step, and seek a new direction.

I felt that spark ignite inside of me after I was injured and the doctors explained to me what my future held.  That spark continues to drive me forward every single day.  A spark of determination which does not rely on anger or self-pity, but on hope.  A hope that cannot be denied, repressed, or quashed.

My hope and resilience, while it comes from a place within me, is not from me.  I've tried relying on myself, family members, and even close friends to bring forth that spark, but it never lasted long.  I've tried to force that spark to ignite and change me through reading books and listening to men and women speak, but they never sustained me.

It was only when the pain was unbearable and there was nothing left but the emptiness in my heart and very depths of my soul, that I came face to face with the force behind the spark.  It is the energy of the Holy Spirit that gives my soul life and my heart happiness.  His strength is what keeps me moving forward every single day when I could sit and wallow in self-pity and anger.  His love is what sustains me when the pain overtakes my body and my thoughts.  And it is His steadfastness which stands by and waits for my redheaded hard-headedness to get out of the way of His works.

Much like His servant Paul who sought healing from the thorn in his side, my healing has not been physical, it has been His grace which has been sufficient.  When the pain increases and causes my heart to get heavy while my soul grows weary, I am reminded of Isaiah 40: 29-31:

"He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might
He increases strength.
³⁰ Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
³¹ But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint."

One day I will have wings like an eagle and I will soar with no limitations.  Until then, I know this spark from deep within me is the driving force which keeps pushing me.  With every push I know I am not alone because He continues to carry me when I am weak and walk beside me when I am strong.  With all that I am, I know it is through Him that I am healed. 

by: Christie Bielss