Friday, November 21, 2014

When The Sucker Sucks

A few weeks ago while my kids were playing a video game together, I was doing a last minute vacuum of my kitchen floor in preparation to mop.  As I moved toward my kids and out of the kitchen, I suddenly smelled something burning.  My alertness peaked and I immediately started sniffing around like a bloodhound trying to catch on to a scent.

vacuum cleaner, Shark, Eureka
Shark Rotator Professional Lift-Away

Within seconds I realized it was something electrical which was about to catch fire.  I hollered for the kids to unplug their new game from the television, thinking it must be defective.  They moved quickly to comply in hopes of saving their new toy.

Even with the video turned off and unplugged, the burning smell not only lingered, but grew stronger.  It was at that moment when I looked down and realized it wasn't their game, it was my vacuum cleaner.

I moved quickly to unplug this firetrap of a device as the thought of researching and having to pick out the right vacuum cleaner made me break out in a cold sweat.  After all, we stay-at-home moms are judged on the depth of carpet pile pulled up and the straightness of our vacuum cleaner lines in our carpet.

Off to the land of Google search I went.  Several hours later with descriptions of vacuum cleaner attachments and allergen output bouncing around in my head like a ping-pong ball, I decided on a vacuum.

Wouldn't you know that it was sold out of every single store in a 20 mile radius.  I had to order it online and wait 5 days for it to be shipped to my house.  I went through and was thrilled with how quickly they shipped the order out.  I even ended up getting it a day earlier than the scheduled delivery date.

I pulled what felt like 20 pieces of vacuum cleaner parts out of the box and slowly assembled the Eureka SuctionSeal Bagless Upright.  With the word "SuctionSeal" in the name, I was loaded with great expectations of this vacuum being able to suck up a basketball from 100 yards away.

Eager to see how this new vacuum would perform, I immediately plugged it in and began to vacuum.  After finishing the family room, I immediately moved to the living room and vacuumed it.  When I was done and before I switched it "off", I looked down at the see through bagless collection canister.  There was a decent amount of dirt and pet hair rolling around inside of the collection bucket.

While leaning over watching the yucky gick dance around, I pushed the handle upright.  This particular motion caused the hose to let go from the collection bucket and spray the contents all over me and the room.  "Seriously?! What the heck?!" I yelled.  I looked down at myself and realized I looked like a monster that crawled out of a Sci-Fi movie.

I got out the directions and reassembled the hose piece, turned the vacuum back on and vacuumed myself off, along with the carpet.  I pushed the arm of the vacuum back up and like a skit from "I Love Lucy", the contents of the collection bucket blew all over me again!  "Sassafrassing-mumble-grumble, good thing I'm not Catholic or I'd be saying Hail Mary's for the next 10 years mumbles.........."

It was at that precise moment my husband walked in the door from work.  He stopped in his tracks, looking at me with a stunned expression on his face, as a large ball of dog hair and dirt sat on my shoulder like a parrot. 

"Don't.Even.Ask..........", I said.  He put his head down, quickly walked past me and headed to our bedroom.  He didn't quite make it past me before the chuckles and laughter could no longer be contained.

I dusted myself off and back to Google I went........ with a new technical design requirement for any vacuum I chose.  After many more hours of searching Google and looking at photos, I selected a couple of vacuums to go try out in-person this time.

Off to our local Sears store I went (they let you actually use them there), with my husband in-tow to help give technical guidance.  At the store, I was able to see and touch the vacuums I had chosen and immediately nixed every single one of them from the list.

I was frustrated and ready to throw in the towel when a sales woman came over and asked what I was looking for.  I listed out my requirements.  She knew her vacuum cleaners and expertly guided me to the 2 vacuums which met my needs.

It was a tough call because the vacuum I really liked was double what we had budgeted to spend.  But, as my husband kindly reminded me, a good vacuum is worth the extra expense since it is used a LOT in our home.  And by hitting the sale and using coupons we received, it wasn't that much more than the other vacuums I'd been looking at.

So, I did it.  I bought the Shark Rotator Professional Lift-Away vacuum and brought it home.  Assembly took less than 5 minutes. 

In what seemed like the blink of an eye, I was vacuuming.  This vacuum has so much suction, it's almost self-propelled!  Oh, how my heart went pitter-pat.

The attachments are a housewife's dream as they extend and change out at the touch of a button.  The amount of pet hair and dirt this vacuum got out of my carpet and off my hard floors was absolutely beyond belief.

My mother told me that at some point in my married life, something like this would happen.  I didn't want to believe her.  I figured that what she told me had to have been out of the dark ages, and I'm a mom of the 21st Century.  

But today it happened.  Today I can say she was right.  Today, I fell in L.O.V.E. ...........with a corded appliance.  I am now filling out my warranty card.  It feels much like a marriage license and as soon as I complete it, I know me and my Shark will be connected ...... until death do us part.

Written by Christie Bielss

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