Monday, March 31, 2014

Move Over 'People of Walmart'...

Move over 'People of Walmart', there's a new Walmart entertainer in stores.  Yes, that's right!  No more will the shirtless, nearly pants-less, thong-wearing, butt-crack showing photos-which-should-never-have-had-the-camera's shutter-pressed be center stage.  Nope.  There's a new king at Walmart.

feet, toe, toe sucker

He's a man who has decided to live life on the edge.  Who decided that being a mere passenger on the internet sensation train was too close to being anonymous.  Yes, this man went all out to change the way you look at shopping at Walmart.

All of those who have complained for years about the lack of assistance in Walmart stores will rethink their complaints.  Those who have grumbled and groused about the way the customers dress, will find those dress code infractions to be inconsequential.

Who could possibly top the kings and queens of clothing malfunctions and poor taste?  A man, posing as a podiatry student, conned a woman into allowing him to assist her with trying on shoes.  In the process of trying on a shoe, he plopped her foot in his mouth and started sucking her toes. 

Yes, the woman realized instantly that something odd was afoot at Walmart and called police.  Good Morning Walmart shoppers!  We have a toe-sucker on aisle 3.

According to reports, this man had possibly made the rounds at other Walmart stores in the area, as well as a Kmart store.  That's one way to get a blue light special.......... with a police escort to jail to boot.

The good news is they have caught the toe-sucking bandit. If he is convicted, he will be a repeat offender.  Yes, that's right, he's a repeat toe-sucker.  The news media has reported that back in 2001 he was convicted of breaking into a woman's home and sucking on her toes.  I wonder if there is a 12-"step" program for foot fetishes......


  1. O please tell me this is an early April Fools post! That is just gross and it strikes me as strange that anyone would let a man help them try on shoes in Walmart even if they were a podiatry student. ICK!

    1. Sadly it is true. I cannot imagine allowing anyone to help me other than store personnel. And I cannot imagine having to go home and explain the incident to my husband........